Feelings Make Wonderful Servants

I've always been a deeply emotional person.

Not dramatic.

Emotional.

There's a difference.

I feel things intensely. Beauty moves me. Music moves me. A line from a book can stay with me for weeks. A sunset can make me stop in the middle of a walk. A conversation can continue living in my heart long after everyone else has forgotten it.

For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with that.

Especially after everything that happened.

I began questioning my own heart. Maybe I feel too much. Maybe I'm too sensitive. Maybe if I didn't care so deeply, I wouldn't get hurt so deeply.

But lately I've been wondering if the problem was never my heart.

Maybe it was who I allowed to lead it.

Feelings are beautiful.

God gave them to us.

Joy.

Wonder.

Compassion.

Longing.

Even grief.

None of those are enemies.

The trouble begins when I expect my feelings to become my compass.

Feelings are wonderful companions.

They're terrible captains.

I've noticed something about myself over the past year. When I wake up feeling peaceful, it's easy to trust God. When I wake up anxious, suddenly my entire future feels uncertain. When I feel lonely, my mind starts searching for answers that don't exist. When I feel hopeful, I begin imagining stories that haven't happened yet.

The facts rarely change.

My feelings do.

That realization has actually been freeing.

Not because my emotions don't matter.

They matter very much.

But they don't always tell the truth.

Sometimes they're simply telling me where I need to bring the truth.

I've stopped asking myself, "What do I feel?" as though that question alone could guide me.

Instead, I've started asking a second question.

"What is true?"

Sometimes the answer comforts me.

Sometimes it corrects me.

Sometimes it does both at the same time.

I can miss someone...

and still know that distance is wise.

I can feel afraid...

and still choose courage.

I can feel uncertain...

and still trust God.

Those things are not contradictions.

They're maturity.

I'm grateful that God never asks me to stop feeling.

He simply invites me to place my feelings beneath something stronger.

Truth.

Love.

Faith.

Hope.

There are days when my heart still races ahead of me. It starts writing stories before I've even finished living the day. It imagines conversations, endings, possibilities. When that happens, I don't get angry with myself anymore.

I smile.

Then I gently lead my heart back.

Almost the way I would take my little boy by the hand if he wandered too close to the edge of a sidewalk.

Not with frustration.

With tenderness.

Maybe that's how God has been leading me all along.

Not shaming me for feeling deeply.

Simply teaching me that my heart was never meant to carry the steering wheel.

And honestly...

I think that's one of the kindest lessons He's ever taught me.

💜